Natural Love 2:confusion
by bleachdeyes
Summary: Sequal to Natural Love, hence the 2. No idea where it's going but more oportunity to see my fave straight hostclub couple
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**-ok because I got 10 more reviews then I thought I would(which was the one from ronin) SEQUAL TIMEཀ But what to write about...RANDOMNESSཀ Thank you to all those who reviewed Good and bad, it made my life complete. BTW the title has to do with my confusion, me and ronin couldn't come up with a title and ended up confusing each other, anyways no charactors will be harmed with confusion at this point in time.

**Disclaimer**- I own nothing but my dreams of world dominations...which don't include these characters

**Confusion!**

Hikaru and Haruhi stared at each other blankly, because the author didn't know what to make them do. So she shall try again later...

**A/N**- I don't really think that even deserved a disclaimer either, oh well.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**– YAY another chapter of nothingness! Ok so I think I ended it all sweet and lovely and tamaki yelling, and if thats not true then im fan ficting my fan fict, yay fan fict!

**Disclaimer**- I love pie. Actually I hate pie, but I love Host Club, too much to try to own it, cuz then it'd be f'd up, and I'd cry

They stayed in the park, laying in each others arms, enjoying each others warmth, thinking stuff (does he use herbal essence or tresume, no prolly some salon brand, rich bastard), whispering sweet nothings in each others ears (where you just thinking that im a rich bastard), nice little "them" time that makes passerbys go "aaaw they're so cute together" cause they are. If you're wandering what happened to Tamaki I'm trying to ignore him, but he makes it so damn difficult! Seeing the leader of the teenage male prostitute club and his minions running towards them-a balloon man stopped and chatted with them, so they only started running now-they had no choice but make a break for it, down a dark ally. Yes it is morning, and they are in the country, but there was still a dark ally because its convenient for escaping and running into drug dealers and such.

Just then the most unsurprising thing happened, they ran into a dealer! A CARD dealer. J/K that would be stupid, he's a druggy alright, he's got the look about him this one. Think the dealer from rent, but Japanese of course, so he's like two feet shorter. To give the story plot, Haruhi unselfishly decides to sacrifice herself and bump into him, and steals his stash to save all the children of wherever the hell they're at from the evils of drugs. Then they run. They've escaped haha! BUT! The dealer has lackeys and chase music starts up. They barely get across the street when, for the sake of predictable plot, Haruhi sacrifices herself again and trips over herself and sprains her ankle. The plot thanks her. Every girl knows this is only for the better because of what has to happen next. Slowly, so that you can see all that beautiful drawn hair glistening in the morning sun and the worry appearing on his face, Hikaru turned around. Tragedy in the heat of action music overlaps the chase music. Naturally, he ran back to her and picked her up, with all that determination on his face that makes fan girls squeal, "EEEEEE they're touching! So Cute!"

Haruhi of course clung to him and continued wandering what kind of shampoo he uses (Do they have Bed Head in Japan? Maybe he imports, damn what is it rich bastard-san!) as Hikaru tried to escape with those long twig anime legs. Ninja's, of course, cut them off. Believe it! No, Narutos not there, he's stopping Sasuke from slitting his wrist, but Ninjas are.

"Fine, fine I give!" Hikaru yelled, seeing as how he had no escape and couldn't risk breaking a nail tryinig to fight them, "She's not that curvy, but please accept this offering as a sign of defeat." With this Hikaru bowed on one knee as he offered off his grandmother that he kept in a small vile in his pocket for times like these. The dealer carefully examined the tiny women but threw her at Hikaru's feet, breaking the vile.

"Yay! I'm finally free! I'd grant you three wishes but seeing as how you refused to rub me, ciao!" The dealer, upset now at loosing his chance to rub an old mini-women (and the three wishes for more old mini-women) yelled at Hikaru,

"Gimme something I can sell!" Now was Hikaru's noble moment, nowhere to run or hide, he had to protect his lady. Yay! She's his lady! However, he didn't think of an escape plan quick enough and the ninjas already stole the injured Haruhi and presented her to their master. "Oh well, look me up if you escape babe, Ciao!" he called as he started to walk away (it was this or "you shit, now we must fight to the death, bankai biotch"-a slogan they should totally use in Bleach but wont).

However, it wasn't over, for that is how karma works, "WAIT UP!" the dealer called, and because he abandoned poor Haruhi, Hikaru was cursed with sudden temporary stupidity and actually waited, in the dark ally, for a perverse drug dealer. Oh the joys I could have with one of them...

Suddenly the dealer went totally Night (from Absolute Boyfriend) on everyone and got all bishounened up with sparklies and little clothing(A/N-yeah I know Nights naked oh well, didn't like him anyways) in that flirty in your face position that gives nosebleeds. He'd probably say something really suave and sexy now, but he's a crude drug dealer so he just says, "Sorry hun, lemme have you instead? K?"Bright smile! Sparkle teeth! How corney (--')

If this was 12-year old written fanfict, poor Hikaru would have been raped right then and there, and I'd have to describe every bit of what was happening. Being a 12 year old fangirl I'd totally know about the details of male homo sex. Alas, Poor Karou hadn't planned for that. However, as it's mature 19-year old written fanfict, his mom's gonna fly in and save him. Yay mom. Actually, Haruhi would have been fine with letting her should-be lover get raped since he had sentenced her to that kind of fate. Unfortunately though, she wasn't a yaoi fangirl and would rather not watch this-the poor thing, she's missing so much! Through the power of love and willpower, mostly willpower, she willed her ankle to magically heal on it's own. Yes, she could have done this earlier, but she wanted to see where this was going-plus how could she turn down an opportunity for Hikaru to carry her?

The next step was to channel Hunny, who currently had his defenses down because there was ice-cream wherever he was, so that was easy. Using these Shaman powers that she only has in this one paragraph, Haruhi did some kicking and punching and fancy footwork with little twillys and ate cake all at the same time. The ninja and the drug dealer-who morphed back to his old ugly self-were knocked out. Score one for Haruhi! Now that is the power of a women and cake! To further demonstrate, she picked up the poor, nearly raped if I was 12, Hikaru, swung him over her shoulder and carried him off to a love motel. Details in the next chapter! Don't be shocked if there's no love motel. Or no next chapter.

**A/N**– they also need a 69 guy back story too, don't u think? Any bleach fans out there?...ok so there's an actual chapter, and a promise of another that I may or may not keep. Boring wasn't it? I wasn't sugar high enough when I wrote it, sorry! I'll try to be less sane during writing next time! Now that I actually gave myself a set up...Please Review! I totally love you! That rhymes! Finally the joys of whoring yourself out for reviews, like crack they are.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N-** last chapter everyone! Sad I know but I lack motivation/reviews/creativity. Anyways please enjoy, and there's a hint of twincest and kinky stuff in here so just a warning, this is the love hotel chapter after all. OMG almost forgot my shoutout to ronin! and it was your idea! thank you ronin!

**Disclaimer-** I do not own these characters, but I do own manga and whips so yay me!

Without realizing what the hell was going on, Hikaru found himself in a hotel room. And what's more, Kaoru wasn't with him! Not that they needed hotel rooms before but just randomly showing up in one with Haruhi on a bright sunshiny day after the rain was really kind of random. And this is where things got a little OOC(yay ff term). So they got to what couples do at a love hotel...they played pranks on room service, and jumped on the bed, then ordered mountain dew and played slap jack( Haruhi won, but Hikaru had better aim when they threw choco-pudding water balloons out the window onto peoples heads) after mud wrestling in the spa, it was time to make that step. Yay last step. Slowly and gently, Hikaru initiated a kiss, sweet yet passionate. Haruhi let Hikaru's hand run down her sides, then run down her back as he pulled her closer to him. Then, just when Haruhi was beginning to get the whole ecstasy thing, Hikaru stopped. So, Haruhi pushed herself closer to him, if that were possible, blew in his ear before licking it, trying to encourage him, but then he pulled away. Hikaru got up looking very flustered, muttering sissy crap about "wrong"and "cheating" and stuff. Haruhi resorted to the evil eye.

"Look" Hikaru started, no longer able to hide the gay accent, " I know we were together and everything, and it was going well, but...I have someone, what do I do about Kaoru? We need each other" and more whiny stuff that annoyed Haruhi. Regrettably she got up, turned and faced Hikaru, with all the sentiment and understanding Hikaru hoped for, and then it was gone. Just like that and aggressive warrior seemed to have taken over her body, and no she was not channeling again(**AN-**I did say only in that one paragraph). Just like that Haruhi threw a now frightened Hikaru down on the floor, probably braking some kind of bone and pounced on him. Then she lifted herself up slightly and looked deep into his big Asian eyes(though not as huge as hers),

"You listen mister! This is Shoujo! I'm the main character and everyone wants my affections while I play clueless got it! That's how shoujo works! Later on I screw my first love and we all live happily ever after, well guess what, you're here, the rooms paid for and I'm not waiting for Hatori Bisco to chose for me, let's go." Oh Hikaru tried to protest, he yelled and squirmed, but that only got him tied up, and whipped. Before he was just going to get raped, now its s&m kinky rape. Either way it's rape, and if there's anything we've learned from anime its that rape is a good thing, so in the long run this is only helping out their relationship.

Unfortunately, right when Haruhi was increasing the bondage(yay chastity belts and nipple grips!) for round two or three or whatever, and Hikaru was desperately trying to slit his wrist through the leather straps with a Swiss army knife(they come in handy) Host Club Rescue Hikaru from Haruhi Mission Game came bursting through the door (I couldn't hold them back any long). In an instant the club was frozen, jaw dropped and everything. After they thawed out some the three that don't really contribute to the series much (you know who, Hunny rocks) just turned and left, respectfully respecting the privacy of two totally OOC characters. I think Tamaki just died, yeah pretty I saw the little soul thing floating away and Kaoru...quickly rushed over to his poor twin. He pulled Hikaru away from Haruhi and closer to him and despite being turned on by the great usage of bondage, went right into concerned brother mode.

"Hikaru, Hikaru are you ok?" was naturally the first thing he asked him, while stroking his back. Hikaru looked into his brothers eyes and nodded, "then, Haruhi" Kaoru turned his attention towards miss master, holding up her whip and cuffs " can I borrow these sometime?" Haruhi was stunned,

"You mean you don't have your own?"

"No, I wasn't sure how he'd take it, but now that I know..."

"Got it. fine, but let me borrow him too sometime ok? Like afternoons?"

"Ok we'll work out a schedule, hey maybe we could try a threesome once."

And that is how The Double H-K Spankdatass S&M club was born. It can still be found to this day down on the corner of Fifth and Charles. What happened to the people I've spent four chapters talking about? Well, they've been living in sin for almost eight days now, and what a beautiful eight days it's been. Oh and all that love shit as well.

**END**

**A/N**-AUGH! My chapters are sooo short I'm sorry! Anyways, doesn't matter because this concludes my Natural Love story, which has run away from its title and original purpose. Still if I get lot's of reviews I may write another story, maybe a nice twincest one, twincest rocks, anyways, off to pretend I've never written this. Thanks to all those who've read and esp to those who've reviewed/put on alert


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